"Think your phone would unlock if I used the facial ID function by pointing at a 14 year old's English bulldogs butthole or ball sack?"

– Jory Jordan at 0:41

"There's no dressing rooms here, so the EU will have to get dressed in the church basement over there, and we'll have to see if someone living around here will let you guys get dressed in their house. [Ziigwan: What do you think of that, slut?] [Shoresy: I fucking love it.]"

– Miigwan at 3:31

"So, we got the game with the Euros in a few days. Want to make sure everyone's on the same page here. We're going to do some real bad shit to those guys. Don't bring your girls. Wait a couple of days before you call your parents. This will be bad."

– Shoresy at 5:20

"But we got the Euros soon and we need your full focus so we're gonna put an embargo on lappies after tomorrow."

– Palmer at 8:44

"[To Laura] What's up, ya fuckin' bisexual?"

– Shoresy at 12:50

"[Teppo: What is this?] This is where we play the EU All Stars. [Teppo: This is a dump.] This is the north. We ain't pretty and we get dirty. [Teppo: We extended our tour to play outside?] You wanted the NOSHO North Stars. [Teppo: I did.] This is where the Nosho North Stars play. [Teppo: I will regret this decision.] We'll make sure of it."

– Nat at 16:20

"Let's get a timeshare in New Brunswick and train foxes."

– Shoresy at 19:32