"Because if I'm a broad lookin' at a calendar of sexy dudes, I'm probably hopin' they have their tarps off."

– Shoresy at 00:58

"Because if I'm a broad lookin' at a calendar of sexy dudes, I'm probably hopin' they have a spray tan!"

– Shoresy at 1:14

"Because if I'm a broad lookin' at a calendar of sexy dudes, I'm probably hopin' they have a grease down!"

– Shoresy at 1:52

"Go get a spray tan. Then come back here, take your tarps off and get a grease down. You sluts are gonna make me some money."

– Nat at 3:33

"I'm not here to tell you not to hammer ass. But you need to be accountable. Right? You never have any legs in the third 'cause ya already played a period between the sheets."

– Shoresy at 5:08

"Persimmon Pomapoos would sound tougher."

– Jay Onrait at 11:59

"Long way to go for the Tangerine Toy Poodles."

– Rear Admiral at 12:15

"Do they wanna be the best team in the league this year, or do they wanna be the best team in the league, ever?"

– Anik at 12:55

"You all played a stint in the show. [Delaney: Yes.] Palmer, Delaney did too much coke. How'd you fuck it up?"

– Jory Jordan at 15:16

"I'll get ya for that anthem, Delaney, I swear to God."

– Shoresy at 20:34

"You know what they say, if you wanna make the change, go to the Jims. They set the tone."

– Rémy Nadeau at 20:08

"Well boys, ready to play your first third period of the season? [Goody: Lotsa legs, Shoresy. Dolo: Let's fucking go, Shoresy.] Here's where we need ya. We need you right fucking now. Right here in the third, alright? Need everybody goin' here in the third. Everything you've fucking got. Alright? Everybody! Everything you got. Leave it all fucking out there. Here we fuckin' go now!"

– Shoresy at 22:14